Albert Pujols

I wear my sunglasses in the dugout
So I can so I can
Watch fans heave when Joe Buck breathes his story lines
And I wear my sunglasses in the clubhhouse
So I can so I can
Keep oblivious of my first baseman's steroid use

While he's deceiving me
It cuts my security has
with Yadier in front of me
I turn to her and say

Don't switch the blade on Scott Spezio oh no

Don't masquerade with the guy in shades oh no
'Cause I'm a "genius"!
Cus you got it made with the guy in shades oh no
And I wear my sunglasses at night
So I can so I can
Steal this game and pray for rain and
And I wear my sunglasses at night
So I can so I can
See the light that's right before my eyes

While Mac used androstenedione
at least he didn't fall under a tarp machine
The lucky bastard catcher teabags me
I turn to her and say
Don't switch the blade on Scott Spiezio oh no
Yadi Give me a break you hit .216 oh no
I can't believe it!
'Cus you got it made with the guy in shades oh no
'Cus you got it made with the guy in shades oh no
Oh I say I wear my sunglasses at night
I wear my sunglasses at night
I wear my sunglasses at night
I say it to you now

[Mark McGuire guest rap:
"I'm not going to go into the past or talk about my past. I'm here to make a positive influence on this."
end guest rap]